So I've been thinking about my scheme to get free plants for my garden...I mean, my program for reducing greenhouse gases. Pretty soon, tons of money will be pouring into my coffers. Mind you, nothing has poured in yet...except for a dime I found on the floor and Teresa said I could have it...but surely it is just a matter of time.
Being the proactive, forward-thinking person that I am, I have identified one possible flaw in my plan: I might not have time to plant all my new shrubs.
But I am nothing if not a problem-solver, and so, incredible as it may seem to people less gifted, I have already crafted a solution before the problem has even reared its head.
I will figure out how much money I earn per day at work and sell a special credit for that amount. You can be a "day sponsor" like they have on NPR. And what do you get for sponsoring a day? Here's the good part:
If you will send me the equivalent of a day's pay, I promise not to go to work that day but instead stay home and plant things in my garden...dang it, I mean in the "LMAID Climate Change Initiative Project Site." Not only will your sponsorship make it possible for me to get those plants in the ground, it will also keep me from burning gasoline to go to work, thereby further reducing both oil consumption and pollution. And I'll put your name on a sticker and wear it on my hat so when I'm doing interviews, the world will know that you are the one making it possible for me to skip work and play in my gar...Project Site.
Teresa said she wouldn't be holding her breath waiting for contributions. (I don't know what that has to do with anything. The mail doesn't come until noon--I didn't expect her to hold her breath for 17 hours. She says very strange things sometimes.)
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10 comments:
Oh, David, you ARE in a predicament, aren't you! LOL!
I think you will manage getting those plants in the ground with perfect timing.
Hm, Josh says if Teresa holds her breath she'd be helping with this whole offset business. Your scheme is brilliant, by the way, pure genius!
David, David, David, you are a dreamer...oh and a great problem solver.. :)
Hey Bobbyearl,
What you been smokin'?
Who do I make a check out to?
David,
Your ability to scheme against hard work continues to amaze me!
Barbara (David's Thursday "Boss")
I'd been thinking along the same lines: if I start doing only no-till installations (tillage apparently releases CO2), can I quit feeling guilty about hauling plants in a big truck instead of a Prius?
Good luck, and (until your scheme takes off) congrats on the new job!
Give me your address and I'll send you a nickel. Tis a start.
LOL!!! What an absolutely BRILLIANT idea!
(That said, your Teresa... well, she sure must have the patience of a saint.)
How do I get myself into these predicaments, Mary?
I was thinking that too, Iris, but I know better than to say it. Josh can, 'cause he's not married to her!
Dreamer, Lisa? You doubt my plan's success?
Hey Carolyn Gail, Bobby Earl says he's still waiting for your check!
Just make it out to me, Jim. I haven't got my 501(c)3 paperwork set up, but I assure you it's all tax deductible.
Oh, no...it's bad news when the boss is reading your blog. With all my new plants I'm sure to be getting, I guess I won't be able to work too much, Barbara!
Sounds good to me, yardandahalf. Tilling sounds too much like work anyway.
What a guy, Benjamin. I won't forget this when I'm the king of Carbon Offsets!
Don't you think a saint would give me more than a dime, Blackswamp? She does put up with a lot!
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