"Hey, watch it with that pitchfork, chief."
I looked down and saw a little brown snake on the ground.
"Hmmm. Talking snake...garden....I don't like where this is leading."
"Very funny," replied the snake. "Do you know how much trouble that story has caused for my kind over the centuries? People see me and freak out. Then they go get a hoe and try to chop my head off. Trust me, there's a lot of evil in the world, but snakes aren't the cause of it."
"Sorry, my little friend. I was only kidding. You're welcome in my garden. I didn't mean to frighten you with the pitchfork. I was just moving some compost. You know, you're the first snake I've seen in my garden. I wondered if I was doing something wrong."
"You mean you like snakes?"
"Oh yeah. You guys are cool. Admittedly I'm more fond of nonvenomous types like you than I am of Copperheads, but yeah, snakes are awesome."
"Boy, that's a new one. I usually hate encountering humans."
"I know what you mean. I try to limit my dealings with them too. That's why I come out here."
I sat on the ground beside the snake. For a while, we were silent, just watching the birds and late summer butterflies.
"You write a blog, don't you?" the snake asked.
"I must say that you're a very well-informed snake. I'll bet there are some political candidates who don't know what a blog is."
"That's another thing. Why do people refer to slimy politicians as "snakes?" WE aren't slimy."
"Good question. But isn't "slimy politician" redundant?"
"Forgive me. I was asking about your blog. I expect that many of your readers are not as snake-tolerant as yourself."
"That's probably a safe assumption."
"Well, could you put in a good word for snakes on your next post? At least for Brown Snakes. We're harmless to humans. I mean look at me. I'm 8 inches long, I have no fangs, and I eat insects and slugs. There's no need to go all crazy and start chopping at me. Really, all I want is to be left alone. Could you put that in there?"
"My blog is all about being left alone in the garden. Consider it done."
