At Least I'm Not Pulling Transmissions in the Front Yard

Note: Whenever one writes about a disorder such as autism and tries to be humorous, he is walking very close to a line which, if crossed, may give offense to people affected by it. Please know that is not my intention in this post.

I was reading an article about autism and was surprised to learn that sometimes people with certain high-functioning developmental disorders are not diagnosed until adulthood. I read one passage aloud to Teresa:

"Asperger Syndrome is marked by obsessive interests and impaired social interaction."

She looked at me over her magazine with raised eyebrows.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you know anybody like that?" she said.

"Not really."

Silence.

"How about someone who makes up reasons to avoid dinner parties so that he can stay home and pull weeds in his garden? And writes a blog about it? And titles the blog, "Leave Me Alone, I'm Digging?"

"I'm not antisocial. I went with you to Mike and Rachel's for dinner, didn't I?"

"What do you remember about that evening?"

"Well, Rachel let me take some cuttings of her weigela so I could root them. They're doing well too. Even the one..."

"Exactly my point," Teresa said. You have limited social skills and are at least mildly obsessive when it comes to plants."

"I can interact with people socially. Remember last weekend, when we went to Jean and Frank's?"

"Where you and Frank started an argument with Jean about why a watering can is more effective than a hose."

"I talk to the neighbors."

"Let's see, the last time Shirley came over, you two got into an in-depth discussion of how big hellebore seedlings need to be before you can transplant them. And the only thing you and Amanda talk about is what plants you are going to trade with each other."

"I talked to Jackie the other day about the hawk in our yard."

"The hawk counts as part of the garden."

"I socialize with my parents."

"Yes, and your mother, the Hellebore Queen is just like you. They say these things are genetic , you know."

"Now the Hellebore Queen is peculiar. She won't grow anything red."

"Peculiar is as peculiar does."

"How about my barber, Mike? We talk about lots of things when I get my hair cut. Why, just last Friday we talked about Carolina football and basketball, not to mention the Appalachian State-Michigan game."

"Yeah, you two are regular Renaissance men. Did the subject of Asiatic lilies come up during the conversation?"

"Well, maybe once."

See, you have some kind of disorder. I would send you to a specialist, but you'd probably come home with a sackful of bulbs along with your diagnosis."

"You know a doctor who is getting rid of some bulbs?"

"And don't think I'm unaware of your stash of magazines."

"What magazines?"

"Don't play dumb. The ones in the paper bag in the back of your closet. Horticulture, Carolina Gardener...ring any bells?"

"I just look at the pictures. I swear I don't read the articles."

"Think about it. How many other people do you know who are so obsessed with plants?"

"Besides the ones we just talked about? Well, there's Carol, Gina, Carolyn Gail, Layanee, Blackswamp Girl, Colleen, Wrenna, Catherine, Lost Roses, Connie, Dirty Fingernails...and then there's Iris, who's really into birds, and Q--butterflies are her thing." So see, I've got lots of company!

Happy Gardening to all my obsessed blogger-friends!