Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The Fred Sanford of Leaves
Here's my question: Does it count as mental illness if you are aware that your behavior is aberrant? I mean, shouldn't you get some points for at least knowing what normal behavior is?
I wasn't going to write about this at all until I read Colleen's post about using leaves in her garden. She writes, "I have yet to swipe some for myself, but the temptation is always there."
Well, Colleen, the temptation has been too much for me.
It all started innocently enough last spring, when I noticed that my compost pile could use a little more green, and so I snatched a bag of grass clippings from my neighbor's trash pile. It worked so well and was so convenient, I went back the next week, under cover of darkness, and made off with another bag.
This fall, as I was expanding my beds, it occurred to me that I would need some mulch. A lot of mulch. Acres and acres of mulch. I did some calculating and determined that I needed between $879 and $50,000 worth of mulch. ( I was an English major and only took "Math for Idiots" in college, thus the rather broad range of numbers.)
About this time, the leaves began falling from the trees. This did me no good, since my trees are very small and my garden is now very large, but other people in my neighborhood have very big trees. Many of them also have mulching mowers that conveniently deposit the shredded leaves and grass clippings into a plastic bag, which is then placed at the curb for the trash truck which comes on Monday morning.
Or for me.
Do you know how many bags of leaves will fit into a Honda Civic? Three large bags in the trunk, three in the back seat, and if you drive slowly, you can pile at least three on top of the trunk and back windshield. (Inexplicably, Teresa has taken to hiding her car keys on Sunday nights ...)
If I lived next door to someone whose backyard looked like this, I'd call the city.
We are getting our new fence next week (those diagonal boards are what's keeping it from falling over now) so I don't want to plant anything until the Fence Men finish, and so my mulching is on hold until next weekend. And I don't know how many bags I need. I mean, this looks like a lot, but you never know.
Now if I could just find Lamont to help me spread them.